Practicalities #4A: The Bus

I'm always saying how I took the bus or the train from here to there, so I thought I'd elaborate on what "the bus" and "the train" mean.

When you want to leave Tisovec, you must first figure out how you're going to go. This involves going to http://www.cp.sk/, where you fill in when and from where you're leaving and where you want to go, and it tells you what buses, trains, or combination thereof you can take. (If you're leaving Slovakia, you usually also check a private company like Eurolines.) Then—and this is VERY IMPORTANT—you write down not only the times that you want, but all of the other times in the general vicinity of the ones you want. This is so that when you miss a bus or one just doesn't show, you have a backup plan. You also write down the route the bus is taking and where you have to make connections. I usually have pieces of paper in my bag that say things like

6:08-8:39 Z
9:10-9:50 pl 3
(bus leaving Tisovec at 6:08 and arriving at Zvolen in 8:39, then subsequent bus leaving Zvolen from platform 3 at 9:10 and arriving in Banská Štiavnica at 9:50)

or

13:35-15:05 BB
15:50-16:40 B pl 21
16:49-17:54 t
(bus to Banská Bystrica, bus from platform 21 there to Brezno, train from Brezno to Tisovec).

If you don't have these things, then you must have a cell phone and a friend with an internet connection to check cp.sk for you, or a place to stay the night, or all of the above. This is the Voice of Experience talking.

The main bus stop in Tisovec is in front of the church, but there's one to the north on the way to Brezno and two to the south on the way to Hnúšťa. Here's the catch (one of many): it has to be a local intercity bus to stop at one of those stops, or you have to be able to explain in Slovak where you want to get off and hope that the driver is obliging.

Speaking of obliging, sometimes the bus will stop and instead of actually getting on, someone will talk to the driver and give him a bag or a box and then get off. Then at another stop someone will collect the parcel from the driver. I seem to remember once the thing that was being delivered was eggs.

On long trips there's often a stop, usually in a town. These stops, which are not marked on the schedule, can range from 10 to 45 minutes. Big bus stations like Bystrica, which is probably the most frequent stopping-point, have restrooms and food stands, with "burgers" and langoš (Slovak frybread; sources report that the best langoš is at the Bratislava bus station). If it's a long break, the driver may kick people off the coach.

The long-haul buses, like those going from Košice to Bratislava, for example, are usually nice big coaches, Volvos or Scanias or the like. The two pictures above are the Scania coach we took to Hungary. The shorter-range buses can be nice, but they can also be pretty cruddy. Both the very first picture and the one below are shorter-range buses. It's really a crapshoot what kind of bus is going to show up.
It seems like the drivers own their own buses, because some of them have done a lot of interior personalization in the front windows. There's often Slovakia memorabilia, sometimes garlands of fake flowers, saints or crucifixes, and small stuffed animals (keep in mind the great majority of drivers are men). The best decoration was probably one on a bus that Bear often rode last year: a tiny novelty t-shirt that said "Sexy Boy."

The worst things about the bus are that it's easy to feel motion sick, especially going to Brezno or Muráň, and there's often not much legroom, and sometimes you get the smelly drunk dude sitting next to you, and on occasion the bus you're waiting for just doesn't show up, and every once in a while it's really crowded and you have to stand up for a bit. The good things are that the buses are pretty frequent, especially between Tisovec and Brezno, so there's always a good chance of getting home as long as you can at least get to Brezno, and they're mostly cheap, and pretty safe, even if the driver seems a little reckless. Riding the bus: all part of the adventure.