Video of the Day

Man, parts of this video look unreal.  One day I hope to be able to photograph stars half so cool as this.  Props to Shawn Reeder for capturing this amazing beauty.

Stand Ye Ready?

This weekend we went up to the area that my dad likes to call Grande Medveď to go to a Renaissance fair with JOUSTING. I've actually only been to a few Renaissance fairs--fewer than you might expect, really--but none of them had jousting. We wouldn't have gone without it.

The fair took place in what used to be a sawmill, an interesting juxtaposition of old and older. I assume the mill is 20th century, but knowing very little about these things, I can't say for sure.

I think my biggest problem with Renaissance fairs, other than the one I'll address in the next paragraph, is that for some reason most of the participants and coordinators feel that the experience must be ribald. It seems like most fairs deal in extremes: women will either be dressed as high-class ladies who are completely covered up, or lower-class ones with their breasts literally falling out of their bodices. I'm not trying to ignore that every period of history had its salacious bits, but those are not the most entertaining or interesting parts to me, and people who don't enjoy those things are mocked. And that's both off-putting and leaving out a lot of history, where, although the Renaissance definitely saw a weakening of the power of the Church, lots of people were still religious and didn't go out of their way to act "mischievous" or whatever cutesy euphemism people want to use for whorishinappropriate.

The silly thing about Renaissance fairs is that some people use them as an excuse to dress up however they want. Sure enough, there was a kid dressed as Link from The Legend of Zelda, and his friends were also in cosplay-looking outfits. Another girl was wearing fairly normal clothes but a headband with little antlers attached to it. People! When it says visitors are invited to dress in Elizabethan attire, they don't mean game characters or antlers! We didn't see a fairy until we were leaving, though, so I guess that's something.

That being said, most of the vendors and the court were really, really well-dressed. We sat behind Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth and her ladies during the joust, so we got to see their costumes close up, and they were quite impressive.
The jousting was done by a group called Knights of Mayhem, who are helping resurrect the sport after centuries. I'm not gonna lie, much of my perception of jousting is based on A Knight's Tale, so while we were watching, lines from the movie kept going through my head (as they do in daily life anyway), and I daresay my mom's as well. Before they actually jousted, the two knights played a few games, like picking up a ring on the butt end of a spear and then throwing the spear at a target on the ground, and then taking swings at a head of lettuce perched on a poor volunteer girl's head. As you can see, she was wearing a helmet and a modern foam helmet underneath (and pretty good garb too, well done young lady), but it couldn't have been relaxing to hear the big horses riding toward you and not know exactly what was going on.


Sir Charles was using a second-string horse, Nightmare (above), who decided after two passes that she didn't want to do this anymore. She stopped short, which for some reason caused him to slide off the side. Twice. The first time was scarier, because we weren't sure what had happened and I for one thought he'd had a heart attack or similar. After the second time, it took rather a while to get back on. Here's when he finally managed it. I like it when the idiot woman behind me says, "Hurry up." Yeah, lady, you hurry up climbing on a horse in 140-pound armor.


I'll definitely be looking for National Geographic's special on the Knights of Mayhem. I suggest you do as well.

Back in Action

I've gone from this to this.

I've left behind the cheeseburgers, but come back to the Kofola. It's not quite an even trade, but it's acceptable.

Summer

Harlan's ground sloth skeleton

Happiness

This is it.

San Diego Highland Games

Some of Them are Killers

Yosemite, Kings Canyon, and Sequoia National Parks

I get to cross a place and a thing off my wish list. We didn't mean to visit to three national parks at one go, but they were there, so we went. I made my parents take me to Yosemite National Park during spring break, and on the way home we went through Kings Canyon and Sequoia, too.

The word "Yosemite" was originally used to describe the people who lived in the area. It means "those who kill," or, in a more poetic description given in the park, "some of them are killers." It's an odd name for a valley, but apparently the man who named the park thought it meant "grizzly bear."

Yosemite National Park's best known feature is Half Dome (left), a semi-circular monolith. It takes around eight hours to climb Half Dome, although they take down the cables in the winter. When you approach Yosemite Valley, you have to drive through a tunnel and then all of a sudden you come into the valley, with El Capitan on the left, Half Dome in the middle in the distance, and Bridalveil Fall on the right. It's pretty damn impressive; but at the same time, you almost don't believe it's real, because it looks just like a picture (say, an Ansel Adams photograph).

When we got to the valley floor, the first thing we did was look at Bridalveil Fall. This was in part because there are bathrooms in the parking lot there. Travel tip: Do not pass up the opportunity to use a restroom, even if it is a glorified and hopefully bear-proof port-a-potty. We walked up the path to the bottom of the fall and managed not to get too wet. Bridalveil is a long, skinny waterfall, and it moves with the wind, which is pretty cool. And of course, when the sun shines on it right, there are rainbows in the water.

The other waterfall we saw was Yosemite Falls (above). There are the upper falls, a middle cascade part, and then the lower falls. We walked a path to the bottom of the lower falls, where the water lands on boulders that have fallen from the top. Yosemite Falls is the highest waterfall on the continent; it takes somewhere from five to eight hours to hike from the valley floor to the top of the upper falls. Needless to say, we did not accomplish that feat.

One of the things that I wanted to see at Yosemite was a bear. I would've been really scared, of course, but I want to see one in real life sometime. Although we saw no bears, we did see squirrels, deer, and assorted other woodland creatures. Some of the animals were not scared of us at all: we saw a bold Steller's jay that almost hopped right up to us, and a squirrel waited under our table for us to leave parts of our lunch behind. And in case you ever thought of leaving food in your car, DON'T! Bears will come and rip your car apart to get to it. We saw a dramatic sign reenacting this fact, where the bear looked really happy to be peeling the car door off.

I didn't get a picture of a really astounding sight on the way from the park to our hotel. We were driving along the Merced River and came to a place where there was a detour on the highway. A short time later we saw that this was because there had been a huge rockslide on one side of the river. We're quite used to seeing signs that say "Watch for falling rocks," but I for one had never seen fallen rocks of this magnitude. The slide covered at least a hundred yards of road, if not more, and the rocks were piled high. It was a little scary. Even when we were in Yosemite Valley, it was a little concerning to think about how all those boulders got from the high places to the floor. I did not cherish the idea of any geological movement occurring whilst we were in the valley.

Unfortunately, because we were there in what was still technically winter, some things were closed because of snow. Some of the roads out to the backcountry were closed, so Tulomne Meadow was off-limits. Another of the things that was closed was the road to the Mariposa Grove, where there are lots of redwoods. We didn't feel like walking the two miles from the parking lot to the grove, so we didn't. Luckily for us, though, only a few hours away were two national parks with lots of coast redwoods and giant sequoias.

In parts of Kings Canyon and Sequoia, the snow hadn't been cleared on paths. So at one point we were walking on packed snow that was above the level of the fences that marked the path. Out of context, big trees just look like trees; it's hard to tell in pictures how wide and tall they really are. They are almost unbelievably big. There are a few fallen trees that are hollow, so visitors can walk through them; even I, who am quite tall enough, can walk through them upright. The General Sherman tree (still alive and kicking) is the biggest tree in the world. These trees have survived drought, disease, and deforestation for thousands of years. There's a slice of tree at Yosemite that's marked with different events in world history, starting around 926 AD and ending in 1890. It's amazing to think about.

I've been through the Pyrenees and the Alps, but Sequoia is the site of the twistiest road I've ever been on: Generals Highway. There are 10 mile-per-hour switchbacks. It's possible that had I been driving, they would have only been 5 mile-per-hour switchbacks. It was a little bit ridiculous. I managed not to get carsick, likely because we were going so slowly.

I don't feel this post is particularly good at describing these parks, but honestly, it was a few months ago and I haven't made myself write this up until now, which means that A) I am slothful and B) I don't remember things as well as I should. It's hard to describe things so big. I got to see snow, which I hadn't seen in about two years, and the trip almost would have been worth it for that alone. But I got to see some truly awesome sights, some true natural wonders. I don't understand how anyone could go into any of these parks, but especially Yosemite, and believe that they are there by accident. Sure, plate tectonics and natural forces notwithstanding; but I have to look at El Capitan and Half Dome and the General Sherman tree and think, "Of course there's a God."

Queen Mary Scottish Festival

In 1934, the Queen Mary, built in Clydebank, Scotland, was launched. Since 1967, the ship has been docked in Long Beach. Today part of the Queen Mary is used as a hotel, and you can tour the inner workings of the engine rooms and see displays of the ocean liner's history. This past weekend the Queen Mary park was the site of "Star Trek: The Tour" and the 15th Annual Scottish Festival. Even without the clever title I'm sure you can figure out which one I went to.

We arrived in time to see the opening parade with the massed bands, and were standing directly opposite the reviewing stand. This is where the massed bands stopped, so it was quite loud. At the end of the parade and the welcome to the festival there was a firing demonstration by a reenactment group called Bydand Forever. The group represents a battalion of Gordon Highlanders from the 1880s. During their demonstration they fired their rifles, did bayonet drills, and shot their Gatling gun and little cannon. We spectators were forewarned that the artillery, relatively small though it was, would be quite loud, but I personally thought that it wouldn't be too bad, as long as I knew it was coming and knew it would be loud. This is what happened when I tried to take a picture as they first fired:
I can't say for certain what that picture actually is. I'm afraid I jerked back rather badly from the impact of the shots. I'd been forewarned, sure, but it was loud, much louder than I'd expected. Once again, I think I'm all cool and then I look dumb. You'd think I'd learn.

This festival was unique because of its location. The parade, some of the vendors, the piping and drumming competitions, and the sheepdog and throwing events were all on land outside the Queen Mary, while the majority of the vendors, the clan booths, the main stage, and the food vendors were onboard in the exhibition hall. Plus, as I mentioned, you can tour the ship yourself. Docked next to the Queen Mary is the Scorpion, a Russian submarine that you can tour, and there is a guided tour of ghosts and legends of the Queen Mary, too. I think being right by the water was probably quite nice for the athletes. It was good throwing weather, with only a little breeze and coolish but not cold. To me, the weight for height looks like possibly the easiest throw, as all you have to do is get up a little momentum and then swing that 56-pound weight up in the air. If the bar's at 11 feet and the athlete is six feet tall, then with one arm overhead that means about an eight foot reach, so the weight only has to go up another three feet. I guess the fact that the throwers make it look easy helps, too. The emcee compared the weight in this event to a five-gallon bottle of water, although considerably smaller and thus denser. If there were a way to do so without breaking it, I'd likely try to throw one of our water bottles.

I was a bit disappointed in the food that was offered. I got a sausage roll that I suspect would have been dry even if it hadn't been sitting out for a few hours, mashed potatoes, and peas and carrots (I like peas and carrots, okay?). And even with all the vendors there was nary a bottle of Irn Bru to be found. There was, however, a whiskey tasting and seminar. I did not attend, but through osmosis learned that it's pronounced Glenfiddick, not Glenfiddich like it's spelled, and that the 12- and 18-year-old single malts were pretty good. I also remembered that I don't much like the idea of being in a structure underwater, even if only 30 feet under.

Three pictures from the pipe band competition. We were all quite amused by the bass drummer with the pink hair. The piper on the right, from the University of California at Riverside pipe band, demonstrates what pleating to the stripe looks like. There are two ways of pleating the back of a kilt: to the sett, so that the pattern in the back looks like the one in the front, or to the stripe, so that the back just has a striped pattern horizontally instead of the full plaid pattern. The UCR kilts are clearly knife-pleated.

To me, the most interesting thing about this Scottish festival was its location. I'd never been to one near the water, much less to one partly held on a retired ocean liner. I think more could have been made of the Queen Mary's Scottish roots, perhaps by putting up a display up with the other historical bits. I would have liked to have seen pictures of people working on building the ship, information about if and how the construction helped local businesses, things of that nature. If you'd like more information in book form, including lots of diagrams and pictures and copies of menus, allow me to direct you to The Queen Mary: Her early years recalled by C.W.R. Winter.

If you're getting bored of me going on about Highland games, you're in luck, because the only upcoming one I'll be able to go to isn't until the end of June. The next installment may be an experiment involving chocolate, or it may be the J. Paul Getty Museum. And expect a Big Event at the end of March or beginning of April, for I have Plans.