Also speaking of things that occured to me after the fact, it turns out that the letters that correspond to 1-8-1-2 can spell Ahab. This was entirely coincidental, but highly amusing. It's quite apt, as I think of my car as The White Whale, even though said vehicle is silver. So in the future I may well refer to myself as Ahab.*
In May I went to the Aiken Highland Games. I've been to a few Highland games/Celtic festivals; my favorites are the San Diego Highland Games, which took place this past weekend and which was the site of the infamous Rogue Sheep incident a few years ago, and the Chicago Celtic Fest, which takes place mid-September in Grant Park. The Chicago event celebrates the culture and heritage of the seven Celtic nations: Brittany, Galicia, Cornwall, the Isle of Man, Wales, Scotland, and Ireland. Most Highland games celebrate Scotland, and, usually and to a lesser extent, Ireland.
Some of you may be saying, "We're not the least bit Scottish, Ahab, so we have no idea what actually happens at these 'games' you keep going on about." Although each Highland games differs, there are several common features that occur at most games. One is the clan booths. Many major clan organizations have booths at games where they offer information about genealogy and clan history. Some clan organizations provide refreshments for their members at their booths as well. There are, of course, vendors, selling everything from souvenir event t-shirts to swords, shortbread to meat pies. There are usually musicians, aside from pipe bands. There is Highland dancing and Scottish country dancing. There are often sheep and sheepherding dogs demonstrating their skill or competing in trials. There are heavy athletics, including but by no means limited to the caber toss. There are people in various modes of "Scottish" dress, from reenactment military kilted uniforms to the popular Utilikilt-wifebeater-and-combat-boots (tattoos mandatory) outfit. And there are pipe bands.
Perhaps you have seen Disney's wonderful movie Bedknobs and Broomsticks. If you haven't consider this my recommendation that you should. In the "Portobello Road" sequence, Carrie gazes adoringly at the leader of the Scottish soldiers, walking beside him after they dance. That is a good indication of my own feelings much of the time I'm at a games.
The Aiken Highland Games had all the usual stuff listed above. A band whose name I can't remember played the Proclaimers' "500 Miles" at least three times while I was there, and Scottish singer Alex Beaton performed. There was a brief opening ceremony that included a parade of the clan organizations, prayer, and the national anthems of the United States ("The Star-Spangled Banner"), Canada ("O Canada"), England ("God Save the Queen"), and Scotland ("Flower of Scotland," not "Scotland the Brave"). I, knowing most of the words and being myself, sang them all quietly. I am of the opinion that the people should sing their national anthem, not listen to one person sing it.
I enjoy watching the heavy 
athletics.They remind me of being on the track team. Heavy athletics include weight for height (right picture), the clachneart, and the sheaf toss (left picture). In weight for height competitors toss a weight over a bar like a pole vault bar. The clachneart is the stone put--like shot put but with larger, heavier, irregularly-shaped stones. In sheaf toss the athlete uses a pitchfork to throw a burlap bag of hay over a bar. As if the throwing itself isn't hard enough, the competitors have to wear kilts. If anyone had ever asked me or any of my thrower teammates to throw in a kilt, we would have fallen down a lot, especially since we all fell down a lot in shorts. The implements in heavy athletics are also heavier than in NCAA track and field events. According to the emcee at the Aiken games, the original "games" in Scotland included races; a very few Highland games have running events as well as heavy athletics.
The Aiken Highland Games had one thing that I'd not seen at any other event before: the Society for Creative Anachronism. I have mixed feelings on the SCA, but suffice it to say that some of them do pretty good research (like the Viking Answer Lady (don't get me started on the word "Viking," though)). Anyway, some members of the SCA had a little village set up, with huts and tents, and displays of icons and fancy woodcarving, with notebooks of research and historical examples of the same arts. And a few members held combat demonstrations. Beat each other with sticks, they did. They also explained their weapons and armor and how points are awarded for fights. It was rather amusing, even if one of the members did insist on talking about Vikings. Okay, the term "Viking" was first used in the 18th century; it was a Norse word that meant going across the sea, for 
trading or raiding. Norsemen wouldn't have called themselves Vikings, and so members of the SCA, whose personas are all pre-1600, should not use the term Viking to refer to a person. The problem is that everyone calls them Vikings, and most people wouldn't care to have the etymology explained to them. All that aside, I enjoyed seeing the combat. Afterward the fighters let kids try on their helmets and hold their shields. That, I think, is the big appeal of the SCA: at some point in our lives we all want to be knights or ladies (or both).The dining choices were limited to a funnel cake and snow cone cart and a Scottish foods vendor. Disdaining the generic festival food, I had a sausage roll and an Irn Bru, a meal the Tartan Specials would fully support. The vendors also sold meat pies, "haggis pockets," Scotch eggs, and some kind of meat popover whose name I forget. The sausage roll was a link sausage in a pastry-crust roll, quite delectable; Irn Bru is a Scottish soft drink whose flavor is reminiscent of a creamsicle. It's something that I'd heard about before, so I was glad of the chance to try it. A bit later I also bought from a baker from Tennessee a piece of shortbread with chocolate on top, something called "Eccles cakes" that are little pastries with raisins and spices in them, and cranberry-orange scones. Mmm, baked goods.
I have a theory that there are three kinds of people: those who like bagpipes, those who hate them, and those who would follow the sound of bagpipes anywhere. There weren't too many pipers at these games; I think the massed band had maybe twenty people in it total. Even so, I followed them around as they played, and called home and left a message on my parents' answering machine that was just the band playing. The best part was when the band marched into the long barn-like area where most of the vendors were. It was out of the sun for one, and it sounded good in there. I do have to admit that I was a little disappointed with the tenor drum player, who didn't twirl his mallets at all. But overall I was pleased with the pipes and drums.So while the Aiken Highland Games weren't the best games I've ever been to, they were quite pleasant. I had a good time, even though I got a sunburn which is still plaguing me today. Until next time, keep your bagpipe radar on.
*"Okay, Ted, George Washington..."
"Had wooden teeth, chased Moby Dick."
"That's Captain Ahab, dude."
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
I had to get it in here somewhere.
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