An Ode to Kofola in Its 50th Anniversary Year

After you've lived in a foreign country for a while and developed fondnesses for certain foods and drinks, you must inevitably face the question, 'What will I miss most when I leave?' There's always that one thing that just isn't available that your life will be a little empty without. I'll miss a lot of things when I leave Slovakia for good, but the first thing on my list is Kofola. Some former teachers have even written songs to the drink they miss so much.

I love Kofola. My students definitely know this, as I often use Kofola as an example in class (my other favorite examples are halušky and hot dogs). If we go out for pizza in Tisovec, I usually get Kofola. C liked to refer to beer as "golden Kofola." He also gave me about 8 liters of Kofola for my birthday two years ago. I currently have somewhere around 7.5 liters in my room, although I don't usually have quite so much.

But what is Kofola? Oh, poor benighted readers who have never had the pleasure of tasting Kofola. Some people will tell you that Kofola is the best thing to come out of the Communist era, and I am inclined to agree with that statement. Kofola is a soft drink that was created in 1960 to use surplus caffeine created in roasting coffee, according to Wikipedia. It was also a competitor to the evil capitalist sodas Coca-Cola and Pepsi.

It's hard to describe Kofola's taste exactly, so I often say that it's like a cross between root beer and cola. If you want a root beer or a cola, Kofola's not going to cut it; but conversely, if you want a Kofola, nothing else will come close.

Like American colas, Kofola is normally available in the classic formula, with citrus flavor, and sugar-free. But I was delighted on my first trip to Tesco this fall to see that the powers that be have seen fit to bestow upon my taste buds cherry Kofola. CHERRY KOFOLA! It's everything I never knew I wanted. (A former student's response to my joy over cherry Kofola was to call this a "country of infinite options.")

Speaking of options, we've found that whiskey in Kofola just tastes like Kofola. Malibu in Kofola tastes delicious.

Kofola is available in 330 mL glass bottles and half-liter and liter plastic bottles at stores. In restaurants you can order tri deci (three deciliters, small) or pät deci (five deciliters, large), which usually come in a glass mug with the logo, and hopefully from the tap.

This spring, after we visited the ice cave, Buddy helped me buy a small mug from the restaurant where we ate. I also plan to buy some things from Kofola's online store (although it appears that the scarf I wanted to get is sold out). Normally I don't go out of my way to support brands more than buying their products, but since I love Kofola so much, I think it's necessary. And because 2010 is Kofola's 50th anniversary, they've been giving away promotional items this year, which is fantastic. The best thing is the Kofola sock puppet. When we found these at the Hypernova in Poprad, I peeked through the tops of the boxes to find one in the classic Kofola colors, rather than a green or blue one. Mine turned out to be the brand colors but also argyll, which makes him even better. His name is Dalibor.

Sometimes I really do wish I could stay in Slovakia forever, where things are inexpensive and the nature is beautiful and there's Kofola. But it gives me a reason to plan to come back, and something to look forward to when I do: that half-liter mug of irreplaceable, unforgettable spicy-sweet wonderfulness.

Since I'm getting ready to leave for my holiday, I wish you all a happy Christmas and a safe and blessed New Year. See you in 2011!